Kiss It All Better
by Insideavoice
Summary: What if Fitz brought a gun to Vegas Night and wasn't at all ready to bury the hatchet? What if the bullet didn't reach the suspected target? Oneshot.


**Author's note: I'm not sure if I like this or not, but all I know for sure is that I've been playing this song "Kiss it All Better" by He is We for days and days now. And with it, I keep having this idea rattle around in my brain. So finally, I decided to do something about it. I'm not sure if I like it…**

**So, let's just pretend that there was no ipecac, Eli and Clare had only argued about the her-going-with-Fitz-to-the-dance thing. And that Fitz brought a gun instead of a knife. And he wasn't only trying to "scare" them. And yep. That's about it.**

**Please don't hate me.**

_And now he sits behind prison bars_

_Twenty-five to life and she's not in his arms_

_He couldn't bring her back with a bullet to the heart_

_Of the back of a man who tore his world apart_

I try to sleep but its cold here. The walls are bare and mocking, making rest futile. I close my eyes and see only her. Only ever her.

It's always her.

_He holds on to her memory_

_All it is is a memory_

_Hey, hey_

_I rolled the dice. "C'mon lucky sevens."_

_ Nothing._

_ Someone else picked up the dice and the game kept rolling._

_ I don't even know why I expected things to be any different. Stupid stupid optimism. That wasn't my life. Sunshine and rainbows. A glass half full with sparkling cider._

_ No._

_ No._

_ No._

_ The glass was empty, broken and shattered._

I don't know why I came.

_And she's not in his arms…_

_Through slits, my eyes took note of her walking in with _him_. Her scanning the gym, shrugging off her coat. Him eyeing her bare shoulders almost hungrily._

_ I felt my fists clench._

_ This was supposed to be _our_ night. This was supposed to be _our_ first date._

_ But no._

_ No._

_ No._

_ No._

_ The glass was empty, broken and shattered._

I don't know why I came.

_She's not in his arms…_

_No prize TV was worth this. I had to leave this stupid dance. I couldn't take seeing the two of them here. _Together_._

_ Him by her side making her smile. Him there making her blush. Him there hearing her laugh. Him staring like he owned her now._

_ No._

_ No._

_ No._

_ I had to stay. Make sure he didn't cart her off into an abandoned dusty janitors' closet. Or worse, the boiler room._

_ I rolled the dice._

_And in his eyes is the…love of his life…_

_Tentative, hesitant, unsure. "Hey."_

_Glaring. Death. "Having fun on your little date, _Judas_?" Venom filled my tongue, scorching it like acid but I could hardly swallow. "Bet Fitzy's a real dreamy kisser." My stomach clenched and almost doubled over at the thought. God, I hope not._

_ Clare took a step closer. "He's willing to bury the hatchet."_

_ My eyes narrowed. Was she that naïve to believe the Neanderthal? There was a reason I was defending her honor._

_ She lowered her voice and put a hand over mine. "Eli." Whisper. Beseeching. "Please."_

_ I dared a smile. It felt unnatural and strange but I couldn't help it. "For you… anything."_

_ "Good." A sigh of relief. "And… thanks."_

_ This time a more natural smile. She cared. She really cared. _

_I leaned into her as she followed suit. Against her lips, I heard a murmured, "I love you." I guess it was me._

_An indiscernible amount of time later and she had me by the hand, wrapped around her pretty little finger. "C'mon. Apology time."_

How could I say no?

How was I to know?

_He kisses her face_

_And says "Everything will be alright"_

_In the hallway, the lights were off but she pulled me along anyways. Into the depths of darkness we skipped. Soon this whole feud would be over. My pride fractured and misshapen but what did that matter when the girl I love was beside me again?_

But I didn't know.

How was I to know?

_Sudden. Looming. Dangerously furious. "Well, don't you two look _cute_?"_

_A gun dangled in his fingers. Pointing downward threateningly, it somehow shined through the darkness as he stood there like a shadow._

_I couldn't move._

_I couldn't speak._

_I couldn't breathe._

_Clare was the brave one, her voice only wavering once. "Eli came to apologize."_

_An ugly laugh echoed dark with disbelief. "I don't think so."_

_He took one menacing step forward. He seemed not to be able to control his fury._

_I swallowed. Swallowed my pride and my own old anger. This had to stop. "Fitz, I'm sorry. I—"_

_Voice clipped, without humor. "You say the words, but I just don't _feel_ them."_

_The pleading voice next to me. "Please Fitz, He means it. He—"_

_Visibly, Fitz shook. He wasn't hearing it. "Shut up, bitch!"_

_In a split second the gun was up and pointing._

_Dumbly, I stood there watching, my mouth agape. If this was death, come quickly. I shut my eyes, waiting for the pain to hit. To feel that bullet lodge itself into my chest. _

After all, I had it coming.

_And he cries "stay with me…"_

_A scream. A blood curdling scream resonated from beside me._

"_Clare!" I ran to her. She dropped into my arms. Her eyes glassy, her breathing hitched and her hands shaking._

"_Oh my God. Oh my God. _Clare_," I whispered into the darkness._

_Fitz just stood there dumbstruck. In awe of what he could do. What he had done._

What had he done?

_He looked at the gun in his hand. With a dull sound it dropped to the ground. His words came out tangled. "I—I didn't mean—I—"_

_And then he fled._

_And the coward he ran_

_And in his eyes is the bleeding _

_Love of his life_

_I screamed. "Someone get an ambulance."_

_No one seemed to hear._

"_Clare. Clare. I love you. Stay with me. Stay—"_

_Fluttering eyelids, wavering between consciousness, her blood spilling into my hands. "Don't leave me, Eli. Please don't leave."_

_I felt the tears slip away. "I'm not going anywhere."_

_Clare took one last forgiving breath. "Eli…._

_And she cries:_

"_Kiss it all better_

_I'm not ready to go_

_It's not your fault, love_

_You didn't know_

_You didn't know."_

_The tears fell freely now. "Stay with me, Clare. Stay with me. I'm not going anywhere. Don't leave me. Don't leave."_

_Then: alarmed. Loud in my ears. "Eli?" Principal Simpson ran over. "Oh my God."_

_And then he was taking her away from me. He was making me break my promise. He wouldn't let me stay._

_And it was all happening so fast. I didn't know _what_ was happening._

Why did I even come here tonight?

The glass was empty, broken and shattered.

…_He noticed the gun_

_And his rage grew inside_

_Alone in the ill-lit hallway. Alone with the blood in my hands, wiping in vain the tears in my eyes._

_And then. _

_Then that's when I spotted it._

_He said "I'll avenge my lover tonight"_

_I found him cowering in an old dusty janitors' closet, looking scared and forlorn. He said nothing when I pulled the trigger._

_He holds on to her memory_

_All it is is a memory_

That night was the last day of my life. After that, it was all over. Crumbling down with a clatter. Crashed and burned. Everything fell down. Remorse and regret along with it.

But this jail cell here tells me one thing. There's no such thing as what might have been. It's wasted time. Would drive a man insane.

I suppose it's a good thing that's all I have.

_He sits in his cell_

_And lays on his bed_

_Covers his head_

_And closes his eyes_

In fetal position I lay on the cot, pulling up the sheets, blocking out any and all light. Somehow they seem to make me colder as I hang on to thoughts of her. The memories are all I have. And time. I have nothing but time. They're all I have left.

"I'm not going anywhere."

_Stay with me until I fall asleep, stay with me_

_Stay with me until I fall asleep…_

_Stay with me_

_until_

_I fall_

_asleep_


End file.
